I can't believe how long it has been since I've posted on here...so long that my email that I used to make this blog has been deactivated since it has been so long since I have used it! I just wanted to check in since it has been over 3 years.... So much has changed. We have added 2 grandchildren to our family. Addilyn was born into Tyler and Jen's family, and Oliver was born into Michael and Bunny's family. We also have a son in law Shaun! Valerie got married July 10, 2015. I have been to Europe, Oregon, Disneyland, LEGOLAND.... All of these things without Thad...It makes me so sad sometimes in the midst of all the happiness around me. I never ever imagined being a widow at the age of 45...Thad and I were supposed to grow old together...I think sometimes of what was supposed to have been, and I can't help but question God's plan for me. I know He is in charge and His plan and timing is perfect, but holy cow.....Widowdom sucks!!!!! I miss going on dates, holding hands, having someone call me and tell me how beautiful I am...but while I miss all of that, I have no interest in having that come from anyone other than Thad. I know it sounds weird. There are so many who remarry and are totally happy...and I'm not saying that will never happen....just not now. I know a lot of people think the definition of moving on is getting remarried, but I disagree with that. I don't feel like I have ever been stuck or unhappy. I have been very happy and feel grateful for all the many blessings I have, but that does not ever take away the love I have for Thad. Our story goes way back as many of you know. That is a whole post in itself, but for now I will just keep living and loving and enjoying every breath I'm granted. Life is too short to not enjoy what we have been given. So today, I will dust off my boots, and continue to love and trust in my plan whatever it may be.