Their little spirits are stronger than mine!

Finally.....some eyes open!

Yes....this is what I'm talking about....I'm not a photographer!!!!

My frustration starts to boil...I just want to see eyes!!!!

I knew it was bad when even Holland wasn't cooperating!!!

My 4th or 5th attempt......argh!!!!!!!! (Hey I got some good nostril shots!!!!

I've often realized and pondered the fact that my children's spirits could be and probably are older than mine.....AND much stronger. I'm amazed every day at some of the comments they make or the little things that remind me how close their spirits are to our Heavenly Father. Today started out as a typical Sunday morning. The men showed up to collect fast offerings which totally caught me off guard! I was just glad they showed up before I ate breakfast as I had totally forgotten it was fast Sunday. I got the kids fed and the church bag ready with moments to spare to catch some quick pictures of these 2 litte ones...They just looked so cute I HAD to get a pic of them!! Well as it turned out, I can totally see why I didn't go into photography as you can tell from most of my pictures....I'm just too impatient or don't seem to have the right eye to catch a good shot....This morning I was in a particular hurry to get to church on time, and little Jackson was NOT cooperating....I was getting so frustrated and just told him that he wasn't going to have any cute pictures of himself to look at when he grew up.....EVERY time I would snap the picture, he would close his eyes!!!! I wanted a close up picture of him with his eyes wide open.....We were in the shade, but he just kept squinting....Then Holland...My little photogenic girl....she was squinting too!!! I realized that just because they were in the shade, their little eyes were looking up to the bright beautiful sky and they COULDN'T keep their eyes wide open.....I was so frustrated, I put the camera in the house and we left for church.....I was not in the best of moods and of course we walked in as they were singing the opening hymn...grrr....can we EVER be on time for church!!! :) My attitude quickly changed when Holland asked if she could bare her testimony. She went up there and she said she knows this church is true, she loves her family and knows President Monsen is a true prophet....in the name of Jesus Christ amen......ahhhh.....the faith of a little 6 almost 7 year old.....I felt kind of stupid that she could get up there and I don't even remember the last time I bore my testimony in church....Immediately after she sat down, Jackson wanted to go up there. ....I explained that when he was old enough to go by himself, he could go up there too..(his mom's way of NOT having to get up there herself if she has to take him up there...I know..it's lame....but it's true).....Holland said "Mom, I can take him up there."....In my mind I can see disaster, but I couldn't deny the looks on either of their faces. So there they take the journey to the front and sit on the chairs up there by the young man who moves the bench for the little ones so they can see while Brother Massey bares his testimony. They are very good and reverent, and I'm thinking as I'm sitting there how proud I am of those 2 little children. Then it's Jackson's turn. Tyson moves the bench up there, Brother Bullough moves the pulpit down and Holland moves the microphone down to his little mouth, then whispers in his ear....Jacskson whispers her words in the microphone and then is told to say it outloud I'm assuming from holland. He says it outloud and I'm not sure if it was hearing his voice in the microphone or what, but something triggered "the susan inherited giggles". Any who knows me....especially my family and close childhood friends, knows that when I get the giggles.....it is almost impossible to stop....AND it comes at the MOST unopportune times sometimes....I'll have to explain that sometime, but at that moment, I could see the uncomfortable looks on the bishoprics' faces...and I was getting a little nervous and embarassed just praying silently that he could get through this...Holland was doing her best to whisper in his ear and putting her hand over his mouth to try to stop the giggles, but to no avail. He did however get out that he knew the church was true and that he loved his mom and dad and in the name of Jesus Christ Amen....WHEW went through my mind and they couldn't get down fast enough......I could see the relieved look on the bishop's face and knew that he was probably glad he didn't have to intervene. It wasn't until the two got back to our bench however that I realized that this testimony, giggles or not, was from a little guy who had the faith to get up in front of all these scary faces staring at him, that my embarassment turned to love for this little guy who taught me more today than any lesson could have taught me. He came back to the bench and said "I did it!!!". I took him in my arms and said "yes you did!" You did a great job!!!! Holland was on the verge of tears....She was embarassed, but it was a time for me to tell her how wonderful it was that she would take her little brother up there to help him bare his testimony for the first time, and that she should be so proud of herself!!!! She felt a little better......and I thought ward members might be "irritated", but I had 2 people tell them what wonderful jobs they did, and I was so grateful for understanding people....who instead of thinking it took away from the spirit, they were able to see what I saw. There was a time when I remember our bishop getting up and "discouraging" the little ones from getting up...that they could do it at home.....I always struggled with that.....I would always think back to when Christ's disciples tried to stop the children from coming up to Christ because they knew He was tired, but He said ....Suffer the little children to come unto ME......Children are the best examples to all of us....It wasn't until we were at my mom's ward this summer, that Holland really had a burning desire to bare her testimony....I was nervous, but noticed that so many of their children were getting up to bare their testimonies, so I let my mom take her up there.....It was so wonderful!!!! This little girl bore her testimony without help, and then when she was done....the bishop of my mom's ward stopped her and gave her a hug.......PRICELESS......So welcoming and made her day!!!! She has been hooked ever since to share what she believes.....I'm proud of her!!!! AND Jackson today for being better than their mom and having the courage to get up and let everyone know what they believe!!!! Thanks to them for setting a true example.

Tonight after we went to take the baptism clothes back to church, Jackson asked me where Jesus lives. I said he lives in Heaven. He said "Can I go see Him?" I said ...."no, honey, not for a long time" He said "Why?" And Holland said..."Do you want to die?" and Jackson said "No", and she said "Well that's why then!" I just told him that Jesus lives within us and we can "feel" him every day here on Earth. He got a light in his eyes :)

Jackson so many times says he wants to go home even when we are home, and it has always FREAKED me out!!! I always just say we already are home, but tonight was the first time he said that about Jesus.......I pray that I'm just over-reacting and he is just a curious little guy....
All of my kids mean the world to me, and I'm just soooo grateful that Heavenly Father has trusted me with such an important role. Thanks to all my kids for the examples you have shown me......I wish I would have been better at writing down all the little things over the years that my kids have taught me!!!! Love you all more than words can say!!!!